Stamina
Q: Hello Dr. Laurie. I’m a woman in my 30s and I eat well, exercise—both strength and cardio—and am otherwise healthy. There’s just something I’ve always battled with when it comes to sex. Though I can easily get through a 50-minute hot Pilates class, I just do not have stamina when it comes to sex. Specifically, being on top. Whether I’m straddling or doing reverse cowgirl, I just lose my concentration/rhythm in those positions. Is there anything I can do or am I cursed to missionary for life?
A: Staying in one position for a prolonged period of time (like on your knees) can cause anyone to lose concentration or rhythm. When you are on top, maybe you can try positioning yourself a little differently so that you can maintain more balance and can last a little longer. Maybe place your hands on your partner’s chest or bed to give you more support. You can also try using pillows underneath you or your partner to adjust the angle and may make movement less strenuous. I would also suggest you don’t stick to just one position. You can change positions multiple times if it’s better for you.
Wetness
Q: I’m 23 years old and I don’t really get wet down there when I’m turned on. It’s definitely become an issue in my sex life and my boyfriend is weirded out by it, I think. I can be really, really, turned on and ready for sex, but will be dry as a bone. I used to have an eating disorder that lasted for a few years. I think that might have something to do with it because it messed up my body in other ways too. Is there any way to fix this? A supplement I can take or a change to my diet?
A: There may be a few reasons why you are not lubricated when aroused. The most likely culprit is an imbalance in your hormones which may be related to your eating disorder or some other medical condition (you really should talk to your gynecologist about this). Stress and anxiety can also interfere with arousal and lubrication. You don’t mention whether you are on any medications, but you should know that certain medications like antihistamines, antidepressants and birth control can cause dryness as a side effect. I would definitely talk to your medical health professional to get to the root cause. In the meantime, always use an external lubricant applied to your vagina and to his penis prior to intercourse.